I apologize for not being able to write this on time for Thursday (my original day in posting these)!
If we were having coffee… I would say that Paris is driving me crazy. I have realized that I am not the only one it has done that to. I wonder if it is the rush of the city, the speed, everyone at their own thing.I went to a free read poetry bar last night and I realized that a lot of them felt that Paris is one of the biggest lies in the world. Paris drives me crazy… but it is not one of the biggest lies. It is a city. If Paris was a lie, so then is Los Angeles and New York City and London… Because it is not the individual cities that are the lies, but the idea of a city in itself. I remember my mother telling me not to make up a big story in my head about how this year was going to be. I remember nodding and agreeing but it was always hard, driving down country roads, music blasting… sun shining.
Paris is not a lie. I love Paris. I love the rush of the city. I love the sound of the foreign language, me trying to sputter it out of my mouth to try to make it sound as beautiful. To move to a city, you have to be prepared for the good and the bad. You have to know what you want and who you want to become. There are days where all you want to do is crawl into bed and binge watch shows and stay away from the crowd, the judgement, the crazy occurrences that happen unexpectedly. There are days where you want to take on the city, show it who is the boss. It feels like I am in a full time relationship with Paris.
Today is Halloween. It is a day when people dress up, eat pumpkin anything (that is more a fall thing in general)… To me, October 31st has not just been Halloween but the birthday of my wonderful dad, someone who I miss dearly. Like any relationship, ours has been bumpy. I am grateful for him though. He is a coffee lover and loves my coffee posts, so I thought it would be fun to do a shout out in my Coffee Conversations. I miss going to coffee houses and him judge the coffee, talking about the roasting process and what temperature the coffee should be at. I know my dad would drop anything he was doing for me, he has already done that multiple times since I have moved here. When he hears about my hardships, hears me crying, he tries to console me… I do not really think he knows how much that means to me. I wish I could be with him today.