I have come to the conclusion that there are two things in this world that bring me bad luck: 7’s and the month of March.
Though anything having to do with these things bring me bad luck, I have promised myself that in 2017 (even though it makes me nervous for having the number 7) will be a good year. I will make sure to work hard for that to happen.
Within the first two weeks in 2017, everything turned upside down for me. At university, I had finals. At the same time, a personal event occurred. Having these two things happen at the same time was an emotional blow for me, and I felt very weak as a person. I studied, but I wasn’t as motivated as I had been all year long. I thankfully have people in my life who are still supporters of me when I am at my worst, who pushed me to keep working and that the only thing that mattered in that very moment was myself and my future.
Now that the storm has passed, I have had time to think and recover. I am not sure if I passed my finals, and I know that if I didn’t, it was due to the stress and not that I am not able to study in this country. I have been getting decent notes all year long, notes that astounded peers for my situation, so I know I am a decent student (I am honestly not trying to sound like I am patting myself on the back).
Since everything has cooled down I have been making a list of things I want to improve and things that I have learned after this experience. Here are the tops ones I think are very important:
- You come first.
This was something my cousin told me when I first began university. The decision to do my degree in France was something personal and important to me, something that would count for me in the future. I needed to put my studies, and myself, first. I wish I had listened to her. I made decisions and itineraries for others, which now I am paying for. So if you try to make your life work for others, others will most likely not be doing the same for you. This is why it should be important to know what your own goals in the long run are.
- Learn how to say no
As hard as it may be for some of us to say no, it is not as difficult for others to say it, and they will use it when needed. Most people are not looking out for you, self-interests tend to win.
- Say sorry when it is a must
I say sorry all the time, to the point that the French man has had to call me out on it. “You did nothing wrong, it is fine, stop saying sorry”. I realized that saying sorry anytime I screw up with minimal things is not the moment to do so. Saying sorry over and over again will begin to lose its weight.
- Organization is key
If you know me personally, you will find that I tend to be a daydreamer and my head is up in the sky most of the time. Goal of 2017: to keep up with things, I have told myself to become more organized. I am going to start that new craze “bullet journaling” and see if it works for me. I no longer want to feel like I am being negligent of personal and professional events. I think journaling will help me maintain my ideas and set small goals weekly of things I want to accomplish… step-by-step, like my dad used to say.
- Self-worth is everything
You are the only person who knows who you really are. No one else can tell you. You are the only person who knows why you made a mistake, if your intentions were nice, what you meant to say, etc. People’s perspective of you are just a slight reflection of yourself mixed with them. Their reality of who they think you are isn’t 100% true, and at the end of the day, if you are going to bed proud of the way you handled things, that is the only thing that matters. Take care of yourself. Don’t feel like going out on a Friday night because you are feeling blue? Maybe you deserve to take the time to stay at home and do activities that you have been claiming you wanted to catch up on (example 1: me and this blog). Love yourself. To me, that is one of the most important lessons in life to learn. Without learning to take care of yourself and loving it, you won’t be able to do as much for others.
- Moving abroad was not myself running away from me
It is something I have been told often, “you can’t run away from yourself”. On my first day of my philosophy class (the subject of the course was “the subject”), we were told to keep a journal throughout the semester. The first entry was supposed to be answering the question of who we thought we were, then after that, the journal was whatever we decided it we wanted it to be. As I answered the question, I came to a conclusion that shocked me. For my whole life, I always felt confused about who I was supposed to be. In America, I was the Spaniard. In Spain, I was the American. It felt like in each of my own countries, I was never appreciated for who I actually was, which is (how I like to say), a beautiful, jumbled mess of cultures. The conclusion I came to was that I moved to Paris to separate myself physically from both cultures to see who I was without that “definition of my nationalities”, the definition I felt others had made for me. The reason I am including this one on the list was because when everything happened in the beginning of January, I wondered what I was doing with my life. Had I ended up running away from who I was? In a sense, yes, but at the same time I am trying to figure out who I am without other’s perspectives.
So, voilà, what 2017 has already taught me within the first few weeks and the goals I have set up for this new year. My superstitions make me nervous, but as said, I have promised myself that this year will be one for changes, for the better.
Hoping 2017 has started off well for the rest of you!
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