Comparing Myself to Other Bloggers : How Social Media Can Be Toxic

“Remember that life isn’t what it looks like on Instagram.”

These were words I wrote back on one of my Instagram posts in September. I’ve had a hard time in the blogging world, in finding my voice, in knowing what is the story I want to tell. I started off this blog because I just wanted to tell my story, to feel special in any way I could. Ever since I was little, I felt like I was made for so much more than just the small towns my family and I ended up living in (we moved around a lot and often I felt like I didn’t fit in). Then I moved to France, and a ding went off in my head. I would just blog about my life in France! It would be THAT easy. As you probably can predict, it has not ended up being easy. My first year in France was very tumultuous, very difficult and my second year was recovering from the first (I don’t like to share much about the situation because it involves others). Then I started school and balancing that with a job and a blog has been very difficult. But not only has balancing all my three worlds been hard… there is so much more.

I have been comparing myself to everyone in the blogging world. I am not one of those model looking girls. If you have been following me for a while, you might remember my post about my feelings toward my body a few years ago. I see all these social media accounts that just look so perfect, and I can’t help but think, “why am I not doing that? Why don’t I look like that?” I go through stages where I have so much confidence in myself and what I am doing, and then I go through stages where I freak out and go on a social media blackout because I feel like I’m not growing as fast as well as I should. I compare myself to other bloggers who are killing it, but when I don’t see my follower count growing, I feel like I am failing.

Recently I read an article about a woman who went into debt because she wanted to have the “Instagram picture perfect life“. In some ways it shocked me, in others, it didn’t. Online, people have to keep up an image. We have to get the likes. We have to gain the followers. But why?

Social media, as much as I love it, I’ve learned can be toxic. We always post about living our best lives and looking our finest. When we aren’t doing that, we can feel like we’re failing in some way. We have to be conscious of what we are seeing and remind ourselves that the online world is not what reality looks like.

Bisous, besos, xoxo,

Veronica

 

 

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12 thoughts on “Comparing Myself to Other Bloggers : How Social Media Can Be Toxic

  1. I do understand what you mean and it’s a fact, a reality, unfortunately. I’ve post a similar blog about social media last year not only to express my frustration but also to come up with a solution. I’ve learned the hard way to love myself more than making comparisons to others. You just have to be you and anything else outside you won’t matter. Learn to embrace more of what you have got and can do. Everyonr is beautiful and unique after all. 🙂

  2. I do understand what you mean. Its like these people out there have these wonderful amazing lives. In truth some may be true. However its not all roses. I follow many Instagram account of chronic illness people and like myself blog and post photos of the truth.

    1. I don’t believe everything is roses, but I think social media makes us think their lives are. I think it’s so courageous to post photos of the truth, thank you for sharing ♥️

  3. I totally get the struggle! My last blog post (which was sadly back in January! Where does the time go?) was all about this topic and how I’ve tried to come up with solutions for it over the past year. In fact, I even wrote a series of posts on it last year because it was overwhelming so much. Perhaps my ramblings will make you feel less alone! At this point, I’m happy to say I only have Pinterest and LinkedIn as far as social media accounts go, and it feels quite freeing. It was difficult to adjust to feeling “out of the loop” at first, but I’ve noticed I’m able to be more present and focused in my life now. I think they’re all great tools, but I just found that I personally needed a break to recalibrate and assess how to use them more mindfully.

    Also, definitely keep up the blogging! I know how hard it can be, as I still have difficulty with posting consistently despite my great desire to do so. I think the best way to help with not comparing yourself to other bloggers is to blog as often as possible in your own voice to the point that you don’t even have time to think about it because you’re too busy being you and connecting with people who relate to your writing. I’m sorry to read that you had a tough first year, and I’m glad that your second year seems to have provided some healing from that first one. As an absolutely Francophile, I look forward to reading more about your life in France as your schedule allows and you feel more comfortable to do so.

    1. I am so sorry for how long it has taken me to reply to this lovely message!

      I have such a difficult time posting as much as I would like with work and school! It’s hard to balance everything out so what we see online, people doing things we “wish” could do is hard. I can only imagine how freeing that feeling is, and that’s what I have done a few times (taken breaks from social media and at times even deleting my facebook for a while). Thank you so much for taking time to read and leave such a lovely message. I absolutely appreciate it ❤

  4. So true! I was wasting so much time on instagram comparing myself to the supposed lives of others, so I gave up instagram for Lent! I’ve felt so much better while taking a break, like I don’t have to keep everyone up to date on the exciting things I’m doing to prove that I fit in, because that takes away from me truly enjoying my life. It’s almost Easter so I’ll be back on insta soon, but going at it with a different mindset 🙂

    1. I took a break from Instagram for a while because of these exact feelings. Thank you for sharing and for following. I always appreciate it ❤ Nice to know I am not the only one!

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