When I was a teenager, I thought I knew it all. My parents always drove me crazy, and they ~ didn’t understand ~ me. I was a moody teenager who was lost and angry and expressed myself through theatre, music and writing. That was all I ever wanted to do. When we moved to Indiana and I had the problems I did with my high school administration (explained in this post), I felt even more lost. I was not going to be able to do college like any typical student, and getting my degree was going to take longer. So after graduating, I did a year of community college, worked two jobs and still did not feel satisfied. It just wasn’t what I wanted to do. So I decided to take a year off and head abroad (honestly, it was only suppose to be a year!). Continue reading “A Decision to Start University at 21”
If you ask anyone that knew me when I was a child, they would probably first tell you about my bubbly personality and then lead into how I always wanted to be an adult. I did not play with toys but played with my imagination, and if I was not playing the part of a princess or a dinosaur (because I went through a stage like that), I would play adult parts. I would play the mom, sometimes the dad, I would want to act out being a waitress, or work in a store. I just thought that growing up would be fun. Then lead into my teenage years where ALL I dreamed about was the freedom. Freedom from school, freedom from my parents telling me what to do, and the freedom to finally start chasing my dreams. Continue reading “Adulting Abroad”
No one told you about the loneliness. Not the happy, look at the Eiffel Tower loneliness… the sitting on the couch in your tiny studio apartment when you realize you haven’t spoken your native language in days loneliness. The loneliness of realizing that when you speak English, you start mixing all of the languages, and you begin to feel like you do not speak any one of them correctly. The loneliness of wanting to do things you used to do all the time – especially at this time of year. Pumpkin patches and hay rides, pumpkin carving and drinking apple cider. No one told you about how things back home change. How your best friends move on, move houses, break up, hook up… How your sister is no longer 15 but actually now 18 and will be going to the ballots to vote. Another important event in her life you will miss. Continue reading “What No One Told You About Being an Expat”
Two Years Ago
An article I wrote in the midst of my anger.
“No child left behind, that’s the American scheme” raps Macklemore in Ten Thousand Hours, words that to me, resonated as I drove by the high school I graduated from.
Continue reading “No Child Left Behind… But I Was: Building My Own Dream”
When I arrived to Paris back in August of 2014, I knew I was walking the streets of history. I felt it within me, a crazy sensation to put into words. Standing in Notre-Dame, I wanted to cry at the thought of how much that building had seen. Continue reading “Fantômes”
That word tastes bitter in my mouth, but it is a word that I do know… Extensively. One I know personally and repetitively. When you move 13 times in your life, you wonder a lot what building your life in one place feels like. The thought of “what if” lingers in your head… What if I would have finished high school in the same one I started? What if I went to college in the same town many of my American friends go to? What if I had a friend I knew since I was 6? What does that feel like? Continue reading “See You Later”
I wondered about the explorers who’d sailed their ships to the end of the world. How terrified they must have been when they risked falling over the edge; how amazed to discover, instead, places they had only seen in their dreams
– Jodi Picoult Continue reading “Risks”